It's all about me, folks! I am high maintenance! And since it's up to me (100%) to determine how to "maintain" me, I have been very busy doing just that.
The fun I am having now is blowing my "stories" out of the water! How? Well, first I realize whatever excuse I may have to "not do" something ( and sometimes to "do" something ) is just a "story". My human brain ( we are the only animals that think ) can and does fabricate the most interesting points-of-view, judgements, perceptions, prejudices, excuses, justifications and they are ALL just stories shaped by my particular blend of learning and life experiences. I am sure this is true for all of us.
What is really interesting is that regardless of our fingerprint ( i.e., blend of learning and life experiences ), we all come up with some common points-of-view. And I am not sure if this particular point-of-view crosses all cultures. The one story we all tell ourselves is: I'm not good enough! And invariably this thought makes all of us feel lower than dirt!
So my first question is: By what stretch of the imagination can that possibly be true! It seems to me that saying or thinking that would make me feel "bad" and then I can justify a lot of behaviors that support not being good enough.
Here's where the maintenance comes in. When I become aware of this thought of my not being good enough, I ask myself what is the story behind it? I have to put the focus on me ( center my attention on myself, i.e., self-centered ) to find that answer. Why am I telling myself this story again? It's just a habit, a knee jerk reaction to seeing someone do something I cannot do or has something I don't have.
Maybe I am just tired and need rest. Maybe I need to speak up for myself. Maybe I forgot to eat. Maybe I have forgotten that I am not on this planet alone. But I am NEVER not good enough. Besides I am not qualifed to mae that assessment and you can bet I will check the credentials of anyone who thinks they are qualifed to judge me.
So give it up! It's just a story, a very old story that needs to be laid to rest - for good!
